Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

 


Hot air rising
Bubbling with anticipation
Waves lapping, slowly
Across uncharted territory
Quenching the fire
Of unsatisfied desires
Of unrestrained emotions
That consume the sleeping thoughts
Aroused in the waking moments
Calmed by this ocean
Engulfed in delicate light
Burning away the darkest desires
Of the unceasing tension of body and soul
©2007-2009 ~devlishangel
:icondevlishangel:

Author's Comments

So, I've never written anything like this before and I wouldn't say it's finished, but felt it could use some comments on what to improve upon and what to let go of.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconinsanity-streak:
hmmm. its nice but what i think it could use are some breaks. where you want that thought to end and where you then want the next one to begin because it seems like a continuous flow, like maybe a break after the line "Across uncharted territory" like it seems like a break is needed. otherwise its good, i love the imagery and the visuals conjured up from reading this!

--
Buffy: Angel
Angel: Buffy
Xander: Xander

Details

June 15, 2007
512 bytes

Statistics

1
0
48 (0 today)
0 (0 today)

Site Map